Where are the pies ?

One day, I was having a chat with my father in law and he told me that one must respect the elders. Even if the elders are wrong, do not correct them. Just agree with them even though they are wrong. I immediately told him that I would be a hypocrite if I do that and it would be against my conscience to do that. 

In the process, I found that I am not well liked by people whom I had to correct in public even though I may be right (most of the time!). In fact, some of these people avoid me because they will never know when I would publicly humiliate them again. This includes fellow lawyers. In fact, I have been told by a senior guy that men do not like to be corrected in public. This phenomenon does not only affect the old. Even the young ones do not like to associate with me so much because they feel intimidated by me. 

I am the partner in a law firm and have many staff working together with me. I am used to being fastidious when it comes to work. I get things done that way. I had to delegate my work so that I can concentrate on my political career (if there ever was one). I have been told off by a young guy that he wanted to report me to the labour department for mistreating my driver. He said that my driver had to immediately drop everything when I was ready to go. The reason why I employed a driver was because I wanted to convenience myself. If I allowed my driver to take his own sweet time and have his coffee or read the newspaper whilst I waited for him; if I allowed my driver to be tardy and wait for him and let all my appointments go haywire, I might as well drive myself. That young guy who told me off, even though in a jest, is one of the many grass root supporters and party loyalists. 

I must relate an incident when I was 17 years old. I went to a youth camp organised by my mother church. Most of the youths in my church went to the camp. We chartered a bus. There was this "big man on campus" or the most popular guy in my church. Most of the girls in my church admired him. I admire him but not romantically but because he was really smart and talented. 

As we got on the bus, I found a seat near the window and near the exit. I have this fetish for those seats. It was a daily struggle to "book" that special seat on my "Ah Pek's bas sekolah". Debbie Hooi and Christopher Wong were always "fighting" with me over that special seat. Anyway, I digressed. Lo and behold ! Who came and sat next to me but "Mr Popular" ? Well, that caused so much jealousy and strife that was mind boggling to say the least. I guess the reason why he chose to sit next to me was because he knew I did not have the hots for him. 

During the youth camp, we were broken into groups and mingled with youths from other churches. I made many friends. Then, I noticed a sudden change of attitude in one of my fellow youths from Seremban. Let us call her "JT". She would completely ignore me and gave me the cold shoulder. Then we came back to Seremban and she continued to give me the cold treatment. 

I had to get it off my chest and I pulled her aside and asked her why the sudden change of attitude. She told me it was because I was so popular that I "stole" her friends from her. That whenever she was having a chat with her friends and when I came along they would ignore her and pay all their attention to me. I told her that I never intended to steal her friends from her.

I will try to juxtapose that incident that happened 26 years ago and the current predicament I am in now. You see, some people can't stand my guts. My confidence is seen as arrogance. My constructive criticisms are seen to be an effort to belittle or humiliate them. 

My husband just told me that I will not survive long in the political arena if I want to stick to my conscience. He is absolutely  right as can be seen from my so-called faux pas. I need to grit my teeth and shut my gap, perhaps correct them in private. I need to give face to people and not offend them even though they may be wrong. I need to treat young party loyalists with tender loving care. I need to be more empathetic towards their cause and relate more to their feelings. That reminds me of Forrest Gump's "stupid is as stupid does". It means an intelligent person who does stupid things is still stupid. That aptly described my follies. I need to eat the humble pie !! Ate quite a few though ever since I entered politics. It's a learning curve and I am still game !! Where are the pies ?? I need to eat more humble pies.